To Bert Hellinger...

Bert Hellinger, the founder of Family Constellation work, died this past week.

I remember sitting next to him on the stage in an auditorium filled with hundreds of people.

I was struck by the clarity with which he spoke the uncompromising truth he saw. His words pierced through all preconceived thoughts, ideas or feelings I had. They rang and echoed into the very core of my being. It didn’t matter whether I liked or agreed with what he said. 

He said it as it was. 
I was hooked.

I wanted to study with him and those closest to him. I traveled to Germany several times to do so. I hosted some of his teachers in the US. I wanted to learn how he saw things and the lens through which he perceived ancestral entanglements and healing movements.

As a psychotherapist I had been trained to look into my inner psyche to find the source of my behaviors and problems. Here I experienced being part of a greater field. I wasn’t alone anymore but connected to generations of ancestors. I realized what I was carrying need not all belong to me but also rested on the lives of those before me. This changed my perspective. As I was still responsible for my behaviors and actions, it was not about having done anything wrong but rather about how I was entangled with the burden of those before me . This work enabled me to put things in their rightful place. I learned to discern what belonged to me and what did not. I became more true to my self.

In opening to the wider field, B. Hellinger tapped into the natural laws that govern all systems. This became the bedrock of his work.

Honoring these laws or principles enables us to connect with ourselves as part of something greater. We come together as we witness essential qualities made visible in a constellation. Our individual lives resonate in the world as the world resonates in us. We become more grounded within ourselves  as we feel more part of the world